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Skeletons: The Motion Picture
Pimps, players, and pain purveyors, blame not reality for running its course given the story at hand were to leave you beyond words petrified. Anywho, I'm just gonna kick things off with an annoucement of the following: In Madea's Family Funeral released to the public came an end to the beloved non-nonsensical grandmother we've all grown to cherish and love throughout the years. You will be missed. As time flew by, I'd founded a personal makeshift shrine within my very bedroom dedicated to said person with her having passed away in real life also as of late. I don't know about yourself, but I give no fully fledged fucks given that she was the fake one or not; R.I.P. them, also. Anywho, I was an intern at tho Nickoldeon Studioz albeit no longer anymore because I guess I wasn't and fuck yourself for having thought otherwise. Whoops. That kind of slipped out. Do forgive me as we cut to the chase, starting now. So, there my location was marked, in its utmost glory. I'd returned to 'Cinema Cinema' within the depths of that one unspecified someplace somewhere, the all-new Skeletons film on the agenda. Skeletons: The Motion Picture. A bag of brown bread alongside plastic fruit punch bottles as means of containing cheap, scrupulous scotch juices within them and shit of suchlike nature which isn't normally tollerated by theaters such as these ones, but when push comes to shove you gotta push onward in all of what could've been shoved or something something. A quite...LOW-QUALITY bag containing the face of Monkey Julius whom you may recall having seen from around the parts beforehand as a means of going with the glorifying - sock monkey hat - had I been wearing ever since way back when as a means of comforting me about life. If there’s something more adorable than a "sock monkey hat", we don’t know what that is. It for sure can’t be a sock chicken hat or a sock slug hat, or...can it? Create the new sock-animal hat the world has been waiting for. Recall having powered on my MEEP! tablet from that point onward and playing with my illegal import of Postal 2. Postal 2, a game about a shades-rocking criminal who is psychotic and also postal, too. Going about business doing too postal things like, say, blowing your boss with his postal shotgun in various fashions all at once. Only slighty tired as a--hey, hold on--no - but yes - I was the lone person out the queue, which initially came off as somewhat suspicious and...yeah. Purchased the ticket as in my agenda of fancy was that one humble Skeletons motion picture schtick...and consecutive repeated screenings of DELGO. I---'d been somewhat confused from there on out and asked the marquee as to what in the world was going on. "What in the hell were you hoping to accomplish with this stunt, ya ratty fucko?" I spat. His response: "Ah, but the children will love that movie, I can assure you..." "W--well, it's like the old saying goes: when there's a will, there's a way." I'd responded, confidently. Semi, at least. "Indeed, that is so, young chaplin--wait, don't tell me you fail in seeing Delgo's mastery." He responded, his mind-reading powers from earlier on having clearly come back into play. "Pff, obviously not; love that movie. With Skeletons looking dope enough as is - hopes are up it don't blow." I'd purchased myself a ticket from then on out. "Enjoy." Whilst first things were first, my mind cut attention towards a newfound oddity I'd noticed in the cinema - absense of the old man from earlier before, let alone the majority homeless men from around the joints. Elbow grease. Would've brought a bite to eat in retrospect given it weren't for the fact how theirs was fail and in I, already having very-well brought some myself. Either I could very well distiguish douchebags within the crowd on their iPhones exchanging pleasantries and the like. Most concerning (and curious, boiling down towards on who you are) that as to whether or not they were--JUST humans was well up-for-debate. Somewhat suspicious in there I having supposedly heard sounds of rattling within the various repeated Delgo screenings with Mr. Bogey or whatever in the fuck his life was about all this time. Despite, my friend... I'd done what I did right then and there: I slammed that fucker open with utmost might and a loose hinge subsequently came into play, as I sat down. Waited for a while. I'd got out my consumeable goods as I'd noticed the bread had now become soggy, in which drenched in alchohol as of now would NOT taste fine. So much for having initially figured that gorilla tape or whatever in the fuck they named it back in the days was thick enough in containing the scotch given that you--enough of that. MEEP! never had a built-in incoming call system so I could breathe easy from then on out. On came the first advertisement: Another gosh-darn vampire movie. Followed by that was L.A. Noire for the Switch. It was of a brand new case: A dark crimson night sky as the protag is seen walking about a road up until he suffers physical contact with an incoming car and dies. "Milk" rained down amongst his face as the camera pans up in revealing it was the work of Bigfoot whom was also rumoured to be in said vidya game. Holds the man up by his wang; loosening and inevitably having torn it clean from its socket with only his gonads remaining... Holds up a sandwich... Again, with the blatant product placement laced with advertising around something as significant as, say, a sandwich. "Officials are in having ensured prevailment and great success with the new world revolutionary concept in consumption of the popcorn sandwich from here on out for planned usage in cinema." "BOO-FUCKING-HOO!" I shouted, getting out my nearby dual birds before flipping them at the screen. In came to play the company 'THANKS' logo o---r 'THX', was it? Come to think of it: uncanny valley; almost as a means of response to what I had just said. As in came some black, giant truffle hog - soaked in decayed blood - barged the logo out of the way and off of where it held ground and having kicked its ass all the way into the gosh-darn milkyway before it turned; to face...me. "All men are more easily inclined towards evil than go--" Pig was interrupted as...the skeleton...Madea!? --kicked him in the snout before he could finish its sentence, letting out the "PEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIG...!" sound or something along the lines as most pigs let out as means of reaction toward heavy physical trauma. Choked the pig out; doing so as to leave him airborne. Zoomed in to grandmama Madea's face as she turned to face me, before she winked, smirking a toothy smirk all the while. Hoooly booly. It was from that. Moment. Onward. Hell had been fucking unleashed right then and there and before you could say "sex". NC-30...? An ominous, almost sounding demonic track of sorts had set into effect as the camera pans into a stone-compiled fortress of sorts; it being the skeleton's abode. Time was midnight. Anywho, you see a skeleton of sorts scrubbing its bones through means of a broom with coated in toothpaste as it casually brushes around its bones. Everything seemed fine and dandy up until erupts the fateful explosion, engulfing the screen as the camera cuts out from the interior. In set into play the camera showing skeletons - tribes - going clean for one another's...cervical spines. Wielding about just every considerably deadly weapon and weaponized vehicle at the top of the list. In store, we got us spears, snipers, daggers, bows, millwall bricks, pepper sprays, attack helicopters, guns, roses, baseballs, aeroplanes, featuring some bayonets a few here, there, and everywhere you go. Sure never looked as it that fella had the means in "tanking" that one anyways. Kicking each other's asses up unto the fucking milkyway. Anarchy ensued from over and around everywhere your eye laid contact on... Wasn't much later when around a bombshell came into play and just smited the skullies like so as the screen cuts to a young Bob Saget partaking in a game of tennis against the world famous brick wall. So, next on the agenda: an enraged Delgo barges in, uses the telekenisis to choke Bob with the stones, and informs to the audience - them being the "blackstains they are" - in how they failed to see the beauty in his "untimely motion picture" - GAURANTEED to put Shrek to waste with wholesome messages such as putting war aside - and original concepts such as the individual...Lockni and Nohrin races. Felt a small sensation of déjà vu, but thought nothing of it. Gave the audience a death stare. He looked...out of himself, just not...in a good...way. "Yet, you'd all hoped to accomplish through this stunt: just exactly what, now?" "TEW GEHREIENED YEUR SKEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEINNNNN...!" yells the--the gosh-darn Skin Taker from nowhere, and began in grinding distraught Mr. Delgo's skin, and with all said and done - one scorpion-esque skeleton figure composed with bones solely of other human skeletons scuttled into view. He took out a wrench, caved in Delgo's head, and jumped once. The fuck. "Did you like the game, Markio?" He knew my name, got out a katana which I suppose he stole and sliced clean through the fabric of their dimension through means of using it. This wasn't my time in cutting some slack, especially around the time of a potential murder. As you may have guessed as of now - this was no different in the absolute slightest. From out of a rip in the cosmos...within the screen jumped out each eight skeletons. Now, be a good kid and get back to doing your shtuff, whilst I do mine in attempting in fighting off the boney fucklards. Whilst I was bleeding, I'd attempted to use my blood as a weapon not long before having immediately discarded the thought; I'm no Cletus Kasady, for God's sake, but Markio Tovarich as he attempted to hold his own with the knife tucked away from within his sock. The battle had been set into motion, and as I'd managed to kick one of their ribcages loose; sending it flying backwards with other unspecific bone fragments. I heard a familar sounding voice as their eyes began glowing blue: "Been quite the while since our last fateful endeavour, nay? Bet it'd be g--" "SHUT. THE FUCK. UP...MADEA!?" A select few of the opposing skeletons began to approach me with tho knuckle dusters. They threw a swift punch; heading towards my direction prior to when tho knockout knuckles met physical contact with my nose. All was true as my nose began bleeding at a spontaneous rate of speed. Punctured a hole in my juice bottle and I'd fucking had it. Span around my right arm ala a Calgon-fueled washing machine albeit at a furthermore rapid pace and kicked the boney fuck clean across the side of their kneecap as it collapsed and; in turn, spewing hyperrealistic fragments on bone all about the place. Next thing I recalled was the scotch from my Julius bag as I'd used it as a means of causing the others to slip and slide. I'd punctured into another one'f their foreheads; fracturing it and knocking them out in turn. Much as opposed to knocking them up. That means a whole 'nother thing entirely. On one end, the skeletons let out something along the lines of: "GODFUCKGOFFUVCHK!--This hurts like Heaven!" yelled one, as a familiar sounding voice resonated from within the room. Madea, you incompeten-- "OVER 'DEA; SA-TAN!" yelled she...MADEA! rendering the others unconcious via the pepper spray and leaving them wide open via the facade. Fuck with this shit as Mabel put on a Madea skin costume alongside the clothing simultaneously, and charged towards my direction. Now, don't get me wrong; this was by no means what any person in the right mind would call a "thrilling event" positivety-wise - but when push comes to shove, you gotta land a powerful fucking kick to the side of the jaw of whomever may have done either to you given you weren't to lend them a piece of your mind. With having repeated said action once and with all said and done - I'd darted out of the room, headed for the door reading 'EMERGENCY EXIT' and jump-kicked the fucker clean off of its hinges and out into the exterior. I'd myself knocked unconscious; passed out of heart arhythmia upon having noticed roads, cars, men, fecal matter, men who never wanted to be men, garbage cans, et-fucking-cetera from meters upon meters underneath thineself as in my mind flashed a ungodly kafkaesque picture of our very within. Skeleton. Splat. The coup de grâce. I'm an open-minded person. Make no bones about it. Okay, all puns aside, I'm going to tell it to you like it is. I'm a skeleton. A tall skeleton, 6 foot 7 maybe, and I wear a top hat. That outta the picture; I guess I'm quite the "guitar hero" in and of myself... Jokes aside, though - turns out as such that wE WERE THE SKELETONS ALL THIS TIME--BYE! Category:CreepyPasta Article Category:Creepypastas That DaveTheUseless Should Read Category:SillyPasta Article